The Vagina Game

A fascinating if repulsive occurrence happened today in the living room of my dorm. In our 5-way testosterone-filled dorm, we often say things without thinking that out of context could be taken as offensive. Usually I will simply call myself or others on these things, but today's occurrence was different.

As one of my roommates walked to the bathroom from his room, my dormmate utterred "vagina" to which the roommate responded "pussy". The comments were not meant in the usual, slang calloused way of insulting the other, but were used as some sort of ice-breaker between the two. However, as both participants usually would have just continued on, this was different. The two then proceeded to come up with a long list, with the help of our neighbor upstairs, of various titles for the vagina. The purpose of this exercise was for humor and to pass the time, but the content was utterly offensive.

The organ was referred to as "penalty box", "baby factory", "leech", "second mouth", and "scissor". Each term had its own connotation, which was either understood or explained to the participating parties. For example, "second mouth" was understood (as well as being extremely offensive) and "penalty box" was explained in detail as meaning the place where you commit you go to commit an offense, in this case, reproduction or brutalized sex. 

I had two major reactions to this incident. The first was that this sort of vulgar talk of the female sexual organ has no place in the realm of good humor, and it is not appropriate and should be condemned in social conversation. It is utterly disrespectful to women, and all but shows a man's true colors when it comes to his view of sexuality. It perpetuates a cycle of violence-based sex against women and demeans them to nothing more than tools for pleasure. 

The second was where to draw the line between joking and not. I knew my dormmates did not mean any of seriously. I knew if I confronted them in a serious manner they would just say they were "joking around". But the line needs to be drawn. The courage needs to be there to point out that these sort of "humorous" games are demeaning and need to be stopped. People need to stick their necks out in social settings to discourage misogyny, whether direct or indirect. I have voiced my concerns in the dorm and hopefully they will be heard. 

Respect comes first.